It began with a question. "Dad do you think you can do a series of watercolors using little forest animals?"
I began my drawing career trying to draw animals. I have a chipmunk I did in elementary school and my mom still has the crayon/colored pencil rendering I did of Thumper from Bambi. The children's book I illustrated was mostly watercolors. When LB was born I did a mural on her wall with little forest animals- bears, squirrels, a field mouse. So yeah little forest animals are in my genre. So....
Whoa. Whao!!! WAIT!!! She wants me to do little forest animals in her house??? That must mean there may be a little forest animal coming to live with them...a minion! A BABY!!!! I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!! Let's see... will I want to be called Obi Wan? Maybe Redbull because I'll let him/her drink those at my house before I send him/her home. Jax finally told me that she calls me "Jonesie" and that's probably what the baby will call me. Thus is began. We surprised Jacque with the "this lady is going to be a grandmother shirt". I began drawing little animals and designing a tree house with four, thirty-five foot tall, class II utility poles.
When she said through the tears, "Daddy they couldn't find a heartbeat..." Mine almost broke. Maybe for me but more for her and Tyler. How do you love someone you never held. How do you grieve something that never was?
People are resilient and young people are idealistic. We just got news that there were babies on the way. BABIES??? Yes multiple minions. Twins. They waited for an all clear from the Dr. before they started making announcements and sharing the news. I'm going to be a grandfather times 2 and the same time.
I'm gonna need a bigger tree house.
Dots on an ultrasound became the size and shape of gummy bears. They grew as big as walnuts and within another week they were the size of limes...then one was dead. I don't know if it was a little boy or a little girl. How do you love someone that was never born? How do you grieve a future you never lost because it didn't become that future?
When life does not meet my expectations it equals loss. Humans grieve all losses.
I do not understand why people get cancer, die in car wrecks, get devastated by storms, are debilitated by injury, loose their memories and why babies are not born. My first attempt to deal with that is that we live in a fallen world corrupted by sin and as a result our temporary time here is controlled by physics, nature and the fragility inherent to being human. Dying---at any age is as natural as living--- to any age.
I do understand that God loves me. I do understand that before I was born God loved me. I do understand that God doesn't choose us to walk these paths but that He holds us while we hold each other while we walk these paths. I do understand that. I guess most of us understand that. I wonder if we believe it? I do believe that God loves me. I do believe that before I was born God loved me. I do believe that God doesn't choose us to walk these paths but I believe He sustains us during these times.
I hope...Oh I hope to be a grandfather to this little precious life still waiting to be born. I want to paint forest animals and walk through the forest and teach those wondering eyes all I know about those animals and where they live and how to find them. I want to climb in the tree house and spend the night in the hammock...I hope to be a grandfather. But if the way this world turns out doesn't allow that. I understand, I know, I believe that I have a GRAND Father and He loves me.
I began my drawing career trying to draw animals. I have a chipmunk I did in elementary school and my mom still has the crayon/colored pencil rendering I did of Thumper from Bambi. The children's book I illustrated was mostly watercolors. When LB was born I did a mural on her wall with little forest animals- bears, squirrels, a field mouse. So yeah little forest animals are in my genre. So....
Whoa. Whao!!! WAIT!!! She wants me to do little forest animals in her house??? That must mean there may be a little forest animal coming to live with them...a minion! A BABY!!!! I'M GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!! Let's see... will I want to be called Obi Wan? Maybe Redbull because I'll let him/her drink those at my house before I send him/her home. Jax finally told me that she calls me "Jonesie" and that's probably what the baby will call me. Thus is began. We surprised Jacque with the "this lady is going to be a grandmother shirt". I began drawing little animals and designing a tree house with four, thirty-five foot tall, class II utility poles.
When she said through the tears, "Daddy they couldn't find a heartbeat..." Mine almost broke. Maybe for me but more for her and Tyler. How do you love someone you never held. How do you grieve something that never was?
People are resilient and young people are idealistic. We just got news that there were babies on the way. BABIES??? Yes multiple minions. Twins. They waited for an all clear from the Dr. before they started making announcements and sharing the news. I'm going to be a grandfather times 2 and the same time.
I'm gonna need a bigger tree house.
Dots on an ultrasound became the size and shape of gummy bears. They grew as big as walnuts and within another week they were the size of limes...then one was dead. I don't know if it was a little boy or a little girl. How do you love someone that was never born? How do you grieve a future you never lost because it didn't become that future?
When life does not meet my expectations it equals loss. Humans grieve all losses.
I do not understand why people get cancer, die in car wrecks, get devastated by storms, are debilitated by injury, loose their memories and why babies are not born. My first attempt to deal with that is that we live in a fallen world corrupted by sin and as a result our temporary time here is controlled by physics, nature and the fragility inherent to being human. Dying---at any age is as natural as living--- to any age.
I do understand that God loves me. I do understand that before I was born God loved me. I do understand that God doesn't choose us to walk these paths but that He holds us while we hold each other while we walk these paths. I do understand that. I guess most of us understand that. I wonder if we believe it? I do believe that God loves me. I do believe that before I was born God loved me. I do believe that God doesn't choose us to walk these paths but I believe He sustains us during these times.
I hope...Oh I hope to be a grandfather to this little precious life still waiting to be born. I want to paint forest animals and walk through the forest and teach those wondering eyes all I know about those animals and where they live and how to find them. I want to climb in the tree house and spend the night in the hammock...I hope to be a grandfather. But if the way this world turns out doesn't allow that. I understand, I know, I believe that I have a GRAND Father and He loves me.
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